Woman, take back your home.
Note: These words are written as a personal expression, firstly. Secondly they're written for mumma's feeling dissatisfied in their many pursuits outside their homes. This is not an attempt to hold the entire nuanced conversation, nor to minimise the very real realities of mothers needing to do what it takes to put food on the table (as was the reality for my amazing mumma). Take or leave, trusting your own womanly discernment fully.
The revolution is not just women taking back their lives and bodies… it’s taking back our homes.
This is one of the most unpopular things to say in a climate where women can be anything and anyone (we're amazing)… but there are deep imbalances within this lady boss era and it’s not spoken of enough.
Women are secretly feeling displaced and dissatisfied in the never ending pursuit for more, and wondering why. Women are outsourcing the sacred roles within their home and wondering why there never seems to be a sense of deep fulfillment and inner peace. There’s plenty of exhalation— but deep peace and satisfaction? Only we know.
We’re having so much success, making an impact, living freedoms that our ancestors would’ve dreamed about…. But when we tell the truth, something is missing. When we tell the truth, we’re distracted mothers. When we tell the truth, we’re on our phones more than we look into our children's eyes. And at some point we need to stop blaming it all on ‘mum guilt’ and instead raise the standard for our family.
Our children are little for such a short time. What’s happening on the explore page of Instagram means nothing. When we decided to become mothers, we signed a contract. We are internally conflicted when we wrestle against the beauty, richness and primal nature of motherhood, in pursuit of a dream that may have expired now. We can dream a new dream. Motherhood asks us to.
We’ve been tricked into thinking that if we have any sort of talent, potential or gifts, then being a mother and a home maker is beneath us. That we’re not ‘doing enough for the world’. Yet, if our children continue to be raised by distracted mothers, we’re missing our greatest opportunity to truly serve the world. The mother has an incomparable opportunity to do this.
I was raised by a single mum of four who had no choice but to work full time. Some genuinely have no choice and I acknowledge that whole-heartedly. However, many of us do. Only we know how much of our work in the world is genuinely aligned, or a means to escape or feel significant. We get to lovingly be honest with ourselves, before our children grow older. Sometimes, mum guilt is God saying ‘Come home’.
It takes discipline in this day and age to not get sucked in. To tell the truth to ourselves even if it means the loss of an identity that we are so familiar with. But I know there’s a collective rumbling in the hearts of mothers and my message is an encouragement of self honesty. I know I don’t know your truth. I do know the dissatisfaction. I know the longing. I know the peace that comes from yielding.
We say we’d do anything for our kids… we say we’d die for them… but will we humble ourselves, put down our phones and return home? Sometimes, it's not another quantum leap that you need. Sometimes, you're wildly capable, brilliant soul is yearning for your hands in the laundry, baking the bread, creating the rhythm, listening to their hidden cries with more intent... in a way only you can.
Love Pk. X
PS. I will expand on this within the paid subscription later this week. In the paid subscription, I write in a more reflective, light (read: funny) memoir style-- sharing details of my life, my exploration, my days. If you're not a paid subscriber and you want more of my words and work, in more depth and personal detail (and you're resourced to do so!)... then come on in. This is the hot spot for my work and will be my main focus going forward. X
I was so excited to read this. For so long I've had this sense that success, for me, is about paying attention to the ordinary, beautiful things that really matter. As I've leaned into this way of being - valuing the housework, cooking, gardening and most of all mothering - I've noticed that these things are invisible in this culture and have battled with feeling like a loser because I'm not motivated to chase ay kind of external badge of success anymore. My body just says no!
I don't think these tasks should be seen as 'women's work' but I do believe that they should have their dignity and value restored to them, no matter who chooses to do them. All my life I have believed that success was 'out there' somewhere. Now I feel in my bones that it is right here in the middle of ordinary, messy home life. I'm fortunate enough to be in a position to choose (mostly) how I spend my time but it's taken years of inner work to arrive at a place where I'm willing to be seen as less successful in the eyes of society so I can come home to myself and my family. I hope your incredible words open this possibility to other women if their hearts are calling them in this direction x
So so here for this conversation. I’m currently off instagram and just in life and in the home and it feels so fcking nourishing after so many years of following every invitation out of the home.
Espesh in the self help world.... “the permission “to have aspirations be valuable in my life but also be secondary to the child/children I dreamed of and my absolute deepest work ... is so appreciated.
Love your musings on this so thanks xxxx