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Let this free you— It’s not always diet culture
Let this free you:
You can intentionally change your body or follow an eating protocol without it meaning you’re sucked in by diet culture.
Find the relief in allowing yourself to experience what you want to experience without it meaning something about where you sit on the ‘goodness’ spectrum— not just with your physical desires but all desires.
We’re a generation of pendulum swingers. We swung from the extreme of being riddled with the effects of a toxic diet culture, to the extreme of labelling any kind of intentional wellbeing or body change pursuit as ‘diet culture’. We do this with everything as part of our exploration, but it’s time to establish balance.
I suffered eating disorders for over 15 years and I know this:
It matters more about WHO is eating than WHAT they’re eating.
It matters more about whether the voice inside guiding the change is LOVING or UNLOVING.
Eating too much and calling it ‘intuitive eating’ is unloving.
Eating too little and calling it ‘wellbeing’ is unloving.
In both cases, there’s something inside of us wanting to be heard and it can’t be heard if we’re focussing more on the program than the person.
There have been seasons in my life where tightening up my eating and following a protocol have been the most loving thing for me. I wasn’t overweight, I wasn’t even symptomatic, but the protocol allowed me to walk a path of devotion, discipline and created an environment within my body of spaciousness that was most important for my whole being at the time. It was not unloving, punishing or ‘diet culture’.
There have also been seasons (particularly when younger) when I’d go on the soup diet, or cut out sugar, or not eat all day– and this wasn’t on behalf of my wisest most loving self, but instead an unheard part of myself seeking protection and control.
There have been seasons where the most important thing for my entire being, was to eat whatever I wanted and re-learn to trust my desires as a woman. This mattered more to me than anything any kind of green juice could offer me.
There have been seasons where green juice was loving, and seasons where it was not. It had nothing to do with the green juice.
There have been times when I’ve signed up to a trail run because I’ve wanted the control and safety of knowing I HAD to train so I HAD to be saved from my uncontrollable compulsive eating.
There have been times where I’ve loving ritualized pilates every morning because it circulated energy, boosted my mood, calmed my anxiety and also…. I enjoyed the experience of toned legs and a peachy butt. No guilt, no shame, no story.
People connect to God and themselves through a physical devotion that to others may automatically be discarded as ‘diet culture’. Others connect to God and themselves through allowing more trust and freedom. Many flow between in seasons.
It’s not about what we’re doing, but who is doing it, and whether the voice inside is loving or unloving- rather than assume we know that intimate part of someone else, we should become more intimate with it in ourselves.
This is an excerpt from my new book, due out in 2023. I’m editing it right now and I am soooo excited for you to read it. It’s not a book about food and the body, it’s a book about the woman.
If you enjoy my writing and how you feel when you read it, you’re welcome to join the Pk Diaries as a paid subscriber, and read wayyyy more, wayyy more regularly.
I’ve got lots of exciting things coming, including a fun, exciting, fresh live transmission coming up soon. Oh, and a new club :)
Oh the manifestor surge.